London Bridges
A
peer of the realm, who’s a photographer as well as a cat burglar, comes to
America and, in flagrante delicto at a Long Island costume party, witnesses
a killing at the hands of Irish bombers, all of which sends McCloud to Blighty,
where the target remains to be found.
Down among the Dead Men
The
first part centers on a wall safe belonging to John Keaton, a Long Island
socialite who sells arms. Secreted in a ring inside a coffer in the safe is a
piece of microfilm containing plans for a terrorist bombing at a garden party
on the grounds of Buckingham Palace, and photographs of the Irishmen he’s
dealing with. This is insurance for Keaton, who has just raised the asking
price for his carefully expert work.
The
Irishmen force the issue at Keaton’s costume party. Another guest is Lord
Charles Bridges, a photographer who steals for a living. Bridges is at work
replacing Mrs. Keaton’s jewelry with paste when the Irishmen burst in with
Keaton. The film isn’t there, naturally, the Irishmen are furious. Bridges,
behind a curtain, sees Keaton accidentally shot while wrestling for a gun.
Now,
the NYPD is at the party incognito, due to the number of jewel thefts in the
area. McCloud finds Bridges outside after the murder, and holds him on
suspicion.
Bridges
has a friend in Chris Coughlin, who puts a picture of him and McCloud and the
latter’s six-shooter on the Chronicle’s front page. McCloud is dismissed
from the case, while the Irishmen pressure Bridges and then put the marshal’s
girl in the hospital.
Lord
Bridges flies back to London, and McCloud takes the same plane. There is an
amusing political discussion at Lady Sinclair’s party. Bridges says he’ll
abstain from the Common Market vote, and a colleague, whom Bridges recognizes
from the microfilm, jokingly accuses him of tepidity.
The
“Sweeny” (so given on Keaton’s blueprints), Inspector Craig explains, is the
Flying Squad or “Sweeney Todd” in Cockney. A dog and bone is a telephone, etc.
McCloud’s own manner of speaking (of Bridges he says, “he’s just slicker’n a
greased shoat, he’d cop the knobs off a nickel-plated bedstead”) baffles the
English. “Bleedin’ foreigners,” says Inspector Craig.
Lord
Bridges has converted the microfilm into a slide show, to which he invites the
marshal. What do those cryptic diagrams mean? A live television broadcast from
the palace grounds at a high angle gives McCloud the answer.
The
music at the Buckingham Palace garden party is “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?” Two
bombs are placed amongst the empties (“dead men” they used to be called), but
where is the third?
It’s
at Big Ben, right in the works. McCloud dukes it out with a bomber on the gear
shaft behind one of the faces, and defuses the thing with seconds to spare
before tea at half past four.
|
Jack Cassidy Lord Charles Bridges |
Written by Michael Sloan Directed by Noel Black |
45609, 3.6.77
The garden party scene at Buckingham Palace was filmed at
the Huntington Library (San Marino, California).
John Keaton has the spelling “Sweeny”
in his plans for the London bombing.
London theater marquee: The Flip Side (with Barbara
Murray et al.)
(The detectives gather in costume for undercover work at
John Keaton’s Long Island party, as a Yeti, a magician, the Easter Bunny, and
Batman & Robin.)
DETECTIVE:
(In an Easter Bunny costume.) What’s McCloud going as?
CHIEF
CLIFFORD: Himself! (Laughing... and still laughing as the detectives file out
and the scene ends.)
(At John Keaton’s costume party.)
MOUNTIE:
(A guest in an RCMP costume.) Where’d you leave the Lone Ranger?
SGT. BROADHURST: (Dressed as an Indian brave, and partnered with McCloud.)
I think he’s talking to your Den Mother.
FIRST LADY GUEST: (White hair, red-white-and-blue
sequined dress, tiara.) Lord Bridges, I saw you on television the other night
selling cameras!
LORD
CHARLES BRIDGES: Ah, that was Lord Olivier.
SECOND
LADY GUEST: (White hair, red-white-and-blue sequined dress, tiara.) And what
do you do?
LORD
CHARLES BRIDGES: I take photographs with his cameras.
(After being awakened in the middle of the night by a
telephone call from McCloud in London.)
MRS. CLIFFORD: Poor baby, shall I bring you an aspirin?
CHIEF
CLIFFORD: No, just bring me that bottle in the liquor cabinet marked
“McCloud”.
LORD CHARLES BRIDGES: Marshal, I can’t tell you how
comfortable it is knowing you’re on my side.
McCLOUD: There ya
go.
LORD
CHARLES BRIDGES: (Quizzical, then acknowledging.) Oh, yes.
McCLOUD: (Of Lord Bridges.) I wouldn’t
bet the homestead against him. He’s just slicker’n a greased shoat. He’d cop
the knobs off a nickel-plated bedstead. (Exits.)
DEPUTY
INSPECTOR PHILLIPS: What’s he talking about?
INSPECTOR
CRAIG: Don’t ask me, I don’t understand a word he’s sayin’.
Bleedin’ foreigners.
CHIEF CLIFFORD: (Awakened in the middle of the night by a
telephone call from the Commissioner.) Whatever McCloud is doing in London
has nothing to do with... Scotland Yard is thrilled with our cooperation in
this case?... Biggest breakthrough they’ve had in years?... Well, as I was
saying, when I sent McCloud to London... Now, don’t worry, we’ll crack this
one, whatever it is...
LORD JAMES ROTHWELL: (To Lord Bridges, on a bomb scare in
the House of Lords.) Just a hoax. Probably planted by some backbencher who
didn’t want to hear the Foreign Secretary’s speech on Rhodesia.
McCLOUD: (In a conference room at Scotland Yard.) I’ll tell
ya, Chief, this whole situation is just a bubble off o’ plumb, as far as I’m
concerned.
(In the conference room.)
CHIEF CLIFFORD: Where are you going?
McCLOUD:
(Exiting.) Buckingham Palace!
DEPUTY INSPECTOR PHILLIPS: (After defusing a bomb on the
Palace grounds, with seven seconds to spare.) OK, boys, take it away, it’s
not worth a firework on Guy Fawkes Night.
McCLOUD: (To a bobby at Big Ben.) That was
no maintenance man, that was Liam O’Brien.