Sarinah and I

preamble

they asked me where was I born

I told them in a land of legends I was born

the dawn was come but night still reigned

1

when I met that charming girl Sarinah

she strode lightly above the garden walk

following butterflies here and there after flowers

eyeing and caressing the flowers fragrant beside the pool

stopping as if forbidden so as to hear a bird on a branch

singing

freely moving or stamping her feet in the world’s glory

her bright clear laugh of pearls

the ivory bracelet on her arm swanlike rang happily

her jet black bun shimmered like a swarm of bees

the dazzle of her life shone in her eyes

as I came near she stood up waiting for me

and reached her hands out to wish me welcome

I flung myself down kneeling before her

and seizing the hem of her garment brought it to my lips

I murmured to her O my girl I am your slave

she raised my face with her sweet soft hand to see it

and firmly told me O young man let us be true to our cause

hand in hand we strolled through the park

with birdsong and perfume of flowers

I looked at Sarinah beside me walking

there trembled on her lips a soul eager to live

like a dewdrop on a leaf

I turned away my eyes and looked straight on

ahead of us a new life stood

full of truths and not of promises

free wide unchained unbound

in a word realized by struggle

2

we went very far

from the great garden

nature looked different

birdsong less sweet

raucous and frightful

flowers less fragrant

blindingly colorful

trees up to the sky

darkening our path

terrifying trunks

so we pressed on

stumbling on fallen branches

I felt Sarinah shivering

I looked around

and saw her face lifted to me

her eyes reflected doubt

again I looked before me

the fair mirage was gone in mist

I heard shouting like thunder

echoing like the waves

I looked at Sarinah looking at me

and just then we were engulfed in darkness

3

the dark began to break up

light came in through the trees

Sarinah pressed against me

and I clutched her tightly with my arm

everywhere men gathered round

shouting to the sky with echoing laughs

all armed

and full of enthusiasm

who they are I do not know

whence they come or whither go

they come from darkness

into light

whatever be the arms they bear

and the brightness of their faces

Sarinah stopped and so did I

I looked around me

the tide of men lay before us

not one looked upon us

they walked together in cadence

with steps that rent the earth it seemed

4

all at once a sharp cry made itself heard

silence fell the tide of men froze

again the strident voice rose up

all together were one in motion at the attack

numerous and milling they advanced

whatever arm they brandished spitting magic fire

they panted

stamped resoundingly

their eyes bulged full of blood

bathed in sweat they splashed everything

a bitter fog rose in the air

as far as one looked darkness mingled

one could not see the road

in the dark which way to go

one fell down pummeled got up or fell prostrate

cries of pain cries of laughter

5

when that human wave subsided

the last wisps gone

and nature bright as before

there were bodies everywhere

pools of blood

the great garden a desert

dark silent melancholy where the soul felt lost

lost ah Sarinah where is Sarinah

why is she not beside me

is she gone for a reason

or have they taken her without my knowing

6

Sarinah is gone

I call out loudly and weeping

I search for her in vain

Sarinah has vanished

I know not of her own accord or taken

where to look whom to ask

ah Sarinah I am so destitute

I have only words now you’re among strangers

whom shall I await or hope

now that Sarinah’s elsewhere

memory is all I have

my feet go where they will

into this enormous crowd

thrown out beaten stoned

I bear all for memory of Sarinah

and let them do as they please

7

if I stand it is hunched if I go it is crooked

starved parched skin and bones

martyred with pain struck down shamed

a rag around my loins

ears burning with abuse stung with the whip

wearied I cannot even lie flat

stand or go chained hand and foot

Sarinah why are you not beside me

were you not gone I’d have one place to go

Sarinah now you’re not here

there is nowhere for me

I have not the strength to go back

Sarinah hear my chains

bound hand and foot a slave

8

how long crushed with ills am I

eons in their cycles are vague to me now

seasons and times day and night are one

I forget the past my memory is gone

why get up to crawl along

ox and crock are broken just the same

my bones are in pieces

my strength is fled

I feel a deep disturbance

at the edge of a pit

the tongue of death licks my feet

but now hands graze me

eyes with joy

my body stirs

9

Sarinah ah Sarinah

my weary soul lashed with pain cries out

my body lies inert with torture my swollen eyes bleed tears

my limbs are shattered my blood boils

everything is dim I bow before Sarinah with a scream

murmuring I ask her in a faint voice

Sarinah oh Sarinah how have you suffered

Sarinah speechless stands

her fingers pressing mine

her eyes gleam darkly

her body trembles bent and weary

her open lips say nothing

her darkling eyes speak of pain

I remain silently regarding

Sarinah’s face a vale of pain

the blood fit to burst from me

out of breath feeble thick of tongue

I asked no more and only stared

sadness and wrath were in her eyes

could this be Sarinah who freely strode so lightsome in the

park

that fine young girl whose glance gave life

with a magic charm on her lips

this Sarinah who lit the flame of devotion

in the soul of him who sought life in her presence

Sarinah fount of joy altar of devotion

10

I clutched Sarinah and drew her to me

my tears fell upon her

I touched her arms now skin and bones

and staring at her pallid lips

I murmured Sarinah let us away and seek that fair mirage

again

I took one step the chains were heard

and Sarinah told me Cast off first your chains and cleanse

you of dishonor

crawling I besought Sarinah’s aid to walk

amidst the crowd into the arena

I forced my body to stand and strongly shouted

All of you here is Sarinah Sarinah lost whom I have sought

they answered She is known to us and always serves us well

I said O you there in the arena pity us Sarinah and I

they answered Pity is for the weak and we are strong

I said again I want to take away Sarinah men free me from

my chains

they began to laugh How can you go devoid of strength as

you are

I thought and kept silent my tears overflowed as I bowed

my head

I felt the truth of what they were saying

whither could I take Sarinah weak and chained

they began to speak gently When you are strong Sarinah

will come to you

until then we shall protect her

Hr. Bandaharo
tr. after Damais