Deep Jaws

P.G. Dartmouth makes pictures as good as his name, but his studio is losing money, “Uranus is closing down.”

Dr. Pissinger has a thing for Mrs. Dartmouth, he steers a million-dollar contract to Uranus for a film on the U.S.-Soviet space program.

The studio, up against blockbusters like Jaws and Deep Throat, undertakes another production with some of the money. To further economize, a porno crew will shoot both films on the same set, a backyard swimming pool, but they misunderstand “hookup” and “splashdown”.

So the plywood space capsule is dropped nearly on top of the “nympho mermaids”, and the lady astronaut reports on her reluctant scene with a clap-ridden colleague, “the fuckin’ rubber broke!”

And Junior, the mop-topped lollipop-sucking bespectacled son of the firm, doesn’t inherit Uranus after all.