|
Se K'ung: once there was a monk Mu Lien
who set off for Hell to rescue his own mother
Tell me how far is Ling Mountain
More than a hundred eight thousand miles
my hope is in the Buddha
awful to be a nun with hair
cut short
no light but one single altar lamp at night
time goes by fast and old age comes
destroying my loveliness in its spring
a lowly nun of the Chao family
I have taken the name Se K'ung
serving in the Holy Peach Convent a long time
I burn incense all day and call on the Buddha
at night I sleep alone
cold and lonely
a lowly
nun of sixteen
in my spring
the abbess has shaved my head
I burn incense all day
and change the holy water
while young men fool around
at the gate of the temple
I looked at one and he looked at me
what an awful moment
how to be together
then die at the door of the King of Hell
let him do as he likes
pestle me cut me
beat me boil me in oil
let him do as he likes
only the living really suffer
dead men wear no chains
let him do as he likes
if my eyebrows get burned
I'll look straight ahead
if my eyebrows get burned
I'll look straight ahead
but it wasn't strangers who
put me here
my
father loved to read the Sutras
my mother invoked the Buddha's name
sunup and sundown they did the rites
burned incense at the temple and prayed
I was a sickly baby
so they put me up to this
to be a nun
I pray for the dead
the Buddha's name is always on my lips
all I hear is bells and prayers
my hands are weary of bells and chimes
bells and chimes
drumming and sounding the conch
I plead at the Court of Hell in vain
I've
read the Sutra of Transcendental Wisdom
the Peacock Sutra's beyond me
the seven books of the Lotus Sutra are tricky
my teacher has me reciting asleep or awake
I say over again My hope is in the Buddha
etc. etc.
I say Great Buddha a few more times
and curse the marriage-broker
I say Amen a few more times
and scream with helplessness
a few more times I say etc.
who could have believed I'd be so grieved
every time I think about it
it gets worse
I'll go through the gallery for a change
go
through the gallery to cheer up
go through the gallery to cheer up
look at all these statues of
the sages
nothing
but sages on either side
how idiotic
here's one frozen hugging his knees
and thinking of me I'll bet
this one's holding his painted cheeks in his hands
and longing for me I'll bet
this one's leering with slitted eyes
only the sage with the calico sack's laughing at me
laughing at me because time's wasting
wasting and who will want to
who will want to marry me
when I'm old
the sage who kills the dragon hates me
the sage who tames the tiger loathes me
the saint with long eyebrows is worried about me
and wonders what will become of me in the end
altar
lamps won't do for bridebeds
a convent galley won't do for meeting a son-in-law
a temple with bells and drums won't do for awaiting a husband
straw mats aren't a bed of roses
I'm a beautiful woman
not a tough guy
why must I wear a yellow sash
why must I wear rags
I see married people together
happy and free in silk and brocade
o God
I can't help it my heart is on fire
I can't help it my heart is on fire
today the abbess and the nuns
are out
I could escape down the mountainside
there might be a chance
it's the only way
I'll
tear off this habit
bury the Sutras
chuck the prayer block
lose the cymbals
I'll never be an exorcist
or the Bodhisattva of the South Seas
in the middle of the night I sleep alone
when I get up I sit alone
who is more lonely and worse off than me
why should my head be shaved
I hate I hate those lying monks
is there a Tree Buddha in the World's Garden
is there a Buddha of the Burning Bush
is there a Buddha of Riverbanks and Lakeshores
are there eighty-four thousand Great Buddhas
now let me leave the tower and temple
let me go down the mountain and find a lover
no matter if he hits me chides me mocks me insults me
I've made up my mind not to be a Buddha
I won't pray Great Buddha and Transcendental Wisdom
how lucky to have escaped
down the mountainside
I only want to have a baby
and die of happiness
|