The Projectionist

Superhero against a gang of five. The Terrible World of Tomorrow. All the great actors in all the films.

Rodney Dangerfield as the theater manager, “I’m comin’ in here tomorrow, I wanna have my breakfast on the men’s room floor, and I want it just the way I want it.”

The candy butcher, Czech silent film actor, escapee from the Communists. The Wonderful World of Tomorrow. Between Keaton and Martin, he steps into the picture (Casablanca) or the dark cavern to rescue the girl from the very fiends of hell.

The lively world, gone into its dance. Sermonette on humility, “the fabulous Judeo-Christian golden rule”, Paul Revere’s ride, villains and crazies. The Bat, archenemy, seeker after the death ray, “I shall rule the world.” Ming the Merciless and Hitler are in his service, the KKK too. Man and His Universe, Part one. The great battle. Victory.

Time Out Film Guide has the foggiest, “affectionately scatty though uneven”. The best commentary is by Mel Brooks.

Fairy Tales

The Prince on his twenty-first birthday. Little Bo-Peep. “What’s the matter, can’t you come?”

“Where’re you going?” The sublimity of the New York School, nothing but the truth and beauty.

The Old Lady Who Lives in a Shoe, a madam. “Now you know why they call her Mother Goose.” It would make a cat laugh. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

“Well, certainly not you, you ugly bitch!” The director’s nom de guerre is Harry Tampa.

Burlesque alive and kicking. Temptations are many and various in the Land of the Fairies, but only the Princess will do for an heir. “People of your normal persuasion, people of your standard ongoing interest.” The Doorman at the Shoe of Pleasure. “Now on your first visit you can’t expect the girls to flog you, they’re nice girls, but maybe I can talk to one and have her backhand you good night, and then if you want you can have sex with some of the ladies, that’s twenty dollars to have sex, thirty dollars if you want to touch the sides.”

It all ends back at the castle, happily ever after

Nocturna

Before the Management Revolution there was Disco, and before that there was Nai Bonet. A tribute to her form and fame by Harry Tampa.

Dracula’s castle on the skids as Hotel Transylvania, the Count’s granddaughter falls in love with a mortal musician. As in Dragoti’s film, the scene shifts to New York, “Brooklyn Bridge, Manhattan side.”

Decline of the blood supply, “politically active vampires... coming out of the coffin... Blood Suckers of America.” Hypoglycemic children (too many sweets) are a problem for the weight-conscious or diabetic vampire.

It briefly metamorphoses into a mating ritual, Nocturna and the hotel are up for grabs.

An ancient mistress claims her right, Drac goes back to Transylvania.

The lovers greet the dawn.

Time Out Film Guide prefers darkness and gnashing of teeth, “silly.”

Safari 3000

The dilemma is swiftly defined.

The only proper engine belongs to a count of the Borgias, he wears a Darth Vader helmet in the African International Rally. The structure is adapted from Blake Edwards’ The Great Race, the extraordinary filming takes Howard Hawks and Hal Needham into account. Dan Aykroyd notes the death of Chipogo’s sacred chicken in Nothing But Trouble.

Monty and Rommel, a midnight rendezvous in the wild. “A bargain at twice the price, Eminenza.”

Chuck Bail and Paul Bartel have their say.

The green hills of Africa, water of diamonds, The African Queen (whence David Carradine’s resemblance to its director). Score by Ernest Gold.